


inferiority complex

by leehwi



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Apocalypse, Attempted Suicide, Blind Character, End of the World, Inspired By Shine Forever, M/M, Mild Murder Sequence, Short Chapters, Slow Updates, Virus, lapslock, there’s gonna be multiple chapters, this is kind of a beta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-01 09:17:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13291776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leehwi/pseuds/leehwi
Summary: a deadly virus has spread throughout the world and seven friends try to get to the city, in hopes it still stands. their end might lie ahead, or it might be sitting right next to them...





	1. .O1

  
the eyes are the window to the soul, they shine and dazzle in the lights and when you look into them, you can see a person’s thoughts. and looking into hyunwoo’s eyes, they all knew what he was thinking. it was time to leave. there was nothing for them here.

one by one, they packed up, grabbing the few things that they had and putting them in one of their three vehicles. they had the trailer that hoseok lived in, the truck that jooheon had been driving for years and hyungwon’s dad’s car. but his parents were long gone, they either moved with half the town, or they disappeared with the other half. one day the government had come and taken almost half the town. they were just gone, never seen since.

it’d been nearly a year since that happened and throughout that year, people had been picking up and moving, going towards the cities, hoping for something more. and now it was their turn. there was seven of them, seven boys who had grown up together and still clung to each other, hoping for something better than this life. they looked to each other for something better and it was unclear as to if they’d found it yet.

the day that hyunwoo said they should leave was the day that minhyuk had decided something, to himself of course. he’d never say it out loud, but he decided that he was in love. and that was with one person named yoo kihyun. he was cute and funny and bright and he was everything that minhyuk liked. the seven of them had known each other since they were young and minhyuk wasn’t sure why it took him so long to discover that he was in love with kihyun, he was in love with his loudness and his kindness.

it was two years ago now that the world started dying, the internet had stopped one day. it just ended. there was no way to make it work, after that it was television and phone lines, they all stopped working. the government wasn’t releasing statements as to the cause of this, but then radios began to malfunction. the world went into a panic and people evacuated major cities, heading for the safer smaller towns, convinced that someday the buildings would just start tipping over.

having grown up in their small town, hyunwoo and his friends weren’t too bothered by this, no one used televisions, they never had internet connection anyways and they rarely used their phones. they were mostly unaffected. but then the government started committing strange acts, such as taking half the population of their town, for no reason whatsoever.

when the three vehicles are all packed up, hyunwoo claps his hands together and announces. “let’s go,” to which they all pile into their respective vehicles and chosen transportations and take off. hyungwon is driving his father’s car, while minhyuk sits in the back, sunglasses secured on his head. hoseok is driving his trailer, jooheon and kihyun sitting cross legged in the back, bickering about food management. hyunwoo drove jooheon’s truck, with changkyun sat next to him, staring out across the stretched land before them. it was going to be a long travel.

they drove, no one sure where exactly they’re going, watching the sunset from a distance. hyunwoo drove in front, wherever he led, the others would follow, this he knew. he directed them down the roads that led to highways that stretched beyond that to fields of nothing, there was emptiness surrounding them, the crops long dead as no one had been caring for them. no food was being grown out here anymore, they were polluted with god knows what by now. hyunwoo led them down a path that veered towards the forest and they drove down the roads that were framed by trees.

kihyun, in the back of the trailer, was watching out the front windshield as hoseok drove, he was feeling a little nervous about leaving, but they all knew that hyunwoo had never been wrong. not once, had he ever doubted his friend’s wisdom. but from what he knew, hyunwoo was just a very smart man who happened to take control whenever his friends needed some guidance.

he wasn’t aware of how desperately hyunwoo wanted to impress him. he didn’t know how badly his friend had tried to get his attention, to get him to appreciate his strength and intelligence. how badly his friend was in love with him. he was entirely oblivious to hyunwoo’s feelings and apparently so was minhyuk.

the trailer rattled a little as they traveled down a gravel path, he could see hoseok tense up with nervousness, he was always complaining that the trailer was going to break down any day. none of them doubted this, they knew how old the trailer was, and they also knew how poorly hoseok took care of it. hopefully it would last.

the vehicles rumbled down the road, the land before them being painted into the next field until it all blurred into one undefinable streak across the sky. they roared through the trees, bursting through the other side. the quiet of the world was disturbing. hyungwon, driving his father’s car was aware of how quiet everything was. there was an eerie silence that seemed to have swept through the planes of the country, nothing except the sound of tire on gravel, a deep roaring from the high speed contact.

he tried his best not to shudder as he listened for the sound of even a bird and was met by nothing. minhyuk leaned forwards from the back seat at the call of his name and hyungwon glanced over his shoulder to meet his eyes, before looking ahead again.

“listen,” he instructed.

minhyuk obeyed. he tilted his head this way and that, as if his ears were satellites, trying to pick up sound. “what?”

“what do you hear?”

“nothing?”

hyungwon looked back to stare at him once more. “exactly,” before he diverted his attention ahead once more.

a visible shudder rippled through minhyuk’s body before he leaned back in his seat. hyungwon was always a bit strange, but he was right in this instance and it only furthered minhyuk’s discomfort.

the skies were threatening to grow darker and there was a haze that came from the trees, leaking across the fields that they passed, stretching out to poke at their tires. it was beyond unsettling and with each passing moment, the haze was thickening.

they eventually pulled over, at hyunwoo’s behest and they all parked underneath a grove of trees. hyunwoo was pulling out some food from the trailer and ushering everyone into the back. they all shuffled in, sprawling out on the floor and couch and the seats up front.

“where are we going, hyung?” changkyun spoke up from the floor, accepting some of the sandwich that hyunwoo was offering him.

“i don’t know,” hyunwoo admitted, passing food around for each of them. there was an undeniable growl of stomachs that echoed throughout the trailer.

as they ate, there was an unsettling quiet, not from them, but from the world outside. even on the edge of the forest, there was still silence. no sign of life, wild or otherwise. there was nothing. perhaps the world really had died, as people were saying. hoseok shuffled on his feet and moved to the opening at the back of the trailer, he peered out, staring into the deep dark part of the woods, where it was the most quiet.

“let’s go for a walk, i’ve never gone this far away from the town before. let’s explore a bit,” he sounded a little eager and they all knew he was aching for adventure. he was always the most bold of them, always wanting to see new things and behaving recklessly just to satiate his own curiosity.

“be careful,” jooheon warned, offering a hand to kihyun to pull him to his feet. he and kihyun had always been close. when they were young, they lived next to each other. and when jooheon’s father died, kihyun’s mother came to help take care of jooheon’s mother, leaving the boys lots of time to spend together. they quickly bonded and jooheon was much like an older brother to him now.

as soon as they were all finished eating, they stepped out of the trailer and looked around at the trees surrounding them. “i’ll go this way,” hoseok pointed to the center where he’d been staring with such interest.

“i’ll see what’s up ahead,” minhyuk offered.

“hyung,” hyungwon tossed him a set of keys. “it’ll be easier in the car, go ahead.”

the older nods and then looks to kihyun, the boy’s features were so soft and lovely that he took a breathless moment to stare, before speaking up. “you wanna come?” he asked.

kihyun’s dimples were gentle, nowhere near the chasms that jooheon had set into his cheeks and he nodded a little. he followed minhyuk to the car, where they settled into the seats and minhyuk turned the key in the ignition, frustrated at the way his heart bounced restlessly, even just being near kihyun was doing things to his chest.

they were quiet as he pulled the car around to turn it down the road, he drove on a bit, going slowly so they could savor this time together. he looked over at kihyun’s serene expression, knowing that if he fucked this up, it’d be too awkward to really be friends anymore.

“what do you think hyunwoo’s got up his sleeves?” minhyuk attempted to sound as casual as possible, but there was a war inside his chest, beating on his ribcage and pushing against his heart.

kihyun smirked and then shrugged. “i don’t think he has anything up his sleeve. i think it was a good idea to get out of that town, god knows what’s out in the world and we were just idling by, completely oblivious.”

a nod was minhyuk’s only response before kihyun spoke again.

“it’d be nice to have some answers.”

that, minhyuk could agree with. it was hard, living in the dark, when there was no way to get into contact with anyone outside of this town and the surrounding land. it would be nicer if they could get one of the radios to work.

minhyuk turned down the road and slowed, this road stretched out for awhile but he didn’t want to go too far. he saw a path that led into the forest. “let’s go down here,” he pointed.

when the younger man agreed, he turned the car into the path and pressed his foot to the pedal, speeding off through the trees. he could tell that kihyun enjoyed the speed and the wind on his face, as a little smile was creeping onto his face. however minhyuk didn’t notice the way his fingers were clutching his seatbelt, his knuckles turning white.

the problem with minhyuk was that when he got into the moment, when he got too wrapped up in trying to impress or show off, he became oblivious. kihyun’s discomfort went unnoticed as minhyuk sped up, the air was rushing through their hair and he made the mistake of glancing at kihyun.

his brown hair was blown out of his face, his eyes squinted slightly against the wind. he looked beautiful. time seemed to slow around them and minhyuk stared so intensely at his face that the trees blurring past seemed like background music and the only thing that he could notice was kihyun, looking so calm and collected and wonderful. it made his heart skip a few beats as he was driving.

there was little to no attention being paid to the road at this point, so taken with kihyun was minhyuk that when the car started to swerve, he didn’t even notice.

______

the sounds of a screech and smash was faintly heard from where they were, but hoseok was still sure he should check. he abandoned the section of trees that he was exploring previously and he ran towards the direction that minhyuk had driven in. as he was running, he spotted hyungwon ahead, who was staring into the distance, sure that he’d heard the noise and hoseok reached out to grab his hand as they ran.

he tugged hyungwon after him and soon they were both racing down the road, chests heaving as they went, hands still clutched together. when they got closer, they could see a small puff of smoke in the sky.

“fuck,” hyungwon whispered as hoseok slipped from his grip and started racing towards the smoke.

he skidded to a halt as he approached a slope, hyungwon coming up next to him to peer down. at the base of the hill was a cloud of smoke surrounding hyungwon’s father’s car, which was somehow upright, but the top was crushed. the sides had been smashed in and the windows were shattered, the hood popped open and producing mass amounts of black smoke.

hoseok and hyungwon barreled down the hill as best they could without falling, until they were at the base. panic was rising in both of them. however peering through the smoke, they could make out two figures, one dragging the other. they almost felt relieved.

minhyuk emerged, holding kihyun’s body in his arms and tugging him away from the wreck of a car. they both had burn marks across their arms and foreheads and minhyuk’s lip was bloody, while a steady stream of blood poured from kihyun’s temple.

running to catch him before they both tipped over, hyungwon gathered kihyun in his arms and helped minhyuk lay him on the ground. while hyungwon tended to him, hoseok pulled minhyuk away and checked on him, he held his face and had him open his eyes as wide as he could and follow hoseok’s finger.

“you should be fine,” he said, before minhyuk broke from his grip and collapsed to his knees next to kihyun. his hands reached out, shaking, and clasped the older’s arm.

“is he okay?” minhyuk gasped, a tremble in his voice.

hyungwon shushed him as he listened to kihyun’s breathing. it was decently solid, but it was still weak. “let’s get him back to the trailer,” he instructed.

between the three of them - mostly hoseok and hyungwon - they managed to carry him up the hill, before the truck rattled up next to them. changkyun was peering from the driver’s seat at them, he looked covered in sweat and afraid.

“what happened?” he demanded as he collapsed the back of the truck so they could slide kihyun into it, hyungwon climbing up next to him.

“looks like we’re down to one vehicle,” hoseok grunted, grabbing minhyuk’s arm and pulling him to the passenger side of the truck. he rushed him in and then climbed after him. changkyun got back into the driver’s seat, sandwiching a dizzy minhyuk between him and hoseok.

“sorry,” minhyuk managed to whisper, before he got too dizzy to stay awake and drifted off on hoseok’s shoulder.

they moved minhyuk and kihyun into the trailer when they got there. kihyun had sustained more damage, so they set him on the couch and minhyuk was just sleeping, so hoseok made a pile of blankets on the floor and set him on that. hyungwon attended to kihyun’s wounds while hoseok ran out to find hyunwoo and jooheon.

changkyun knelt on the couch next to kihyun and looked up at hyungwon. “what can i do to help?”

there was nothing he could to do help, because hyungwon had no idea what he was doing. he knew the basics of cleaning a wound and that was all he could do.

kihyun stirred and they both snapped to attention. hyungwon was holding a cool wet rag to his forehead and kihyun winced as he slowly woke up. his eyes groggily lifted and changkyun peered down at him while hyungwon reached for some of the salve from the kit.

“how do you feel?” changkyun asked softly, trying to brush some of his sticky hair out of his head wound, the blood had started to dry and his hair was adhering to the wound, it’d be best to keep it out.

“not great,” kihyun murmured, his eyes darted around the trailer and he grunted uncomfortably.

hyungwon lifted his hand, afraid he’d applied too much pressure. “are you okay?” he asked.

kihyun blinked in response, not looking at hyungwon. “i-” he inhaled sharply and then jolted, his body was starting to shake as he reached out and grasped at thin air. “i can’t see anything.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short, sorry

waking up in the dark was not something that he’d expected, but since he was there, in the pitch black void, he’d felt terror start to rise in him. during the first few minutes as he blinked, a dull glow started to appear in the difference and now he could only see this slight haze. there was no colors, and only this dim light that seemed to be taunting him at the end of a tunnel.

“am i blind?” he’d asked hyungwon, who had sighed softly and replied.

“i don’t know.”

every sound made him jump in surprise, turning to look around, afraid that something unknown was going to touch him,. he couldn’t see his surroundings or gage where he was exactly, but going off the smell, he assumed he was in hoseok’s trailer.

“there’s a light, it’s annoying me,” kihyun admitted. when he closed his eyes, the light disappeared. good thing he wasn’t entirely blind, he could see a light, terrific. a mocking light that was starting to bother him.

“oh, what do you need?” hyungwon asked as he gently rubbed some salve over the gash in kihyun’s temple, watching the older boy flinch in pain.

“i don’t know, cover it maybe? if you can,” he grumbled.

hyungwon looked around him and spotted a small silk scarf that hoseok had left in here from his suit days. he retrieved it off the ground and turned to help kihyun up, so that he could tie the scarf around his eyes, securing it with a knot at the back of his head.

“thank you,” kihyun spoke so softly it was hard to hear him at first.

 

* * *

 

minhyuk was sat out in the grass, when he’d discovered what the result of his recklessness was, he’d gone numb all over and stumbled outside. he was too lost in his own mind to stand anymore and he was now slumped in the grass, wondering when in his life he’d become such a terrific screw up.

the sound of people approaching alerted him and he sat up to see hyunwoo making his way towards him, he walked closer and held his hand out. “are you okay?” he asked, noticing the burn marks around minhyuk’s jacket.

“car crashed,” he sighed, accepting the hand and letting himself be pulled to his feet.

hyunwoo’s eyebrows shot up and he pursed his lips, minhyuk could see the worry in his face. he was sure that hyunwoo was angry, they needed that car, they needed all the transport they could get at this point. but he was understanding and so he simply nodded.

“is kihyun okay?” his voice was laced with concern.

guilt swarmed in minhyuk’s head and chest and when he opened his mouth, he almost choked on the words. “hyunwoo, i-”

“jooheon,  _ wait _ !” hoseok was shouting.

minhyuk looked up to see jooheon walking swiftly, breaking through the brush of the trees, his eyes were narrowed and he was fuming. he was staring directly at minhyuk and fear clenched at his heart.

“you,” he growled as he approached, his hands snatching up minhyuk’s lapels and tugging him close, face to face. “do you know what you’ve done, you fucker?”

hyunwoo grabbed jooheon and tugged him back, his expression reading confused as hoseok tried to grab jooheon as well. “calm down,” hoseok instructed, but jooheon wasn’t having any of it.

“he’s never going to see again because of you!” jooheon cried.

the silence was heavy for a moment as hoseok calmed jooheon and realization dawned on hyunwoo. he slowly released jooheon and turned to look at minhyuk, who was biting back the tears that were threatening to burst from his eyes.

in the blink of an eye, hyunwoo hauled his fist back and it met minhyuk’s face, knocking him onto his back. the younger scrambled away from hyunwoo, afraid he would hit him again. but he didn’t.

backing up, hyunwoo pushed his way past the other three and headed for the trailer. jooheon followed closely behind him and hoseok was left staring down at him, pity started to appear in his eyes. he looked like he felt sorry for him.

“what are you looking at?” minhyuk spat, trying not to let his voice crack.

hoseok simply nodded and went after the others.

several minutes passed where minhyuk simply stared at the grass in front of him, he wasn’t going to cry, he told himself over and over. he wasn’t going to cry. the last time he’d cried, he was a young child, but he got bullied and called weak for it. ever since he’d held back all of his tears.

he hated himself for being so stupid as to stare at kihyun while he was driving, now kihyun would never be able to use his eyes again, he would forever see darkness. and nothing hurt minhyuk worse than kihyun being afraid, his stomach twisted at the idea.

as he sat there, he noticed someone walking towards him from the trailer, he looked up in surprise to see changkyun holding onto kihyun’s arm and leading him closer. his throat seized up at the very thought of kihyun being angry at him.

but he needed to own up to his mistake.

“kihyun,” he whispered meekly, his voice was barely audible.

the younger had a black scarf tied around his eyes, no doubt protecting them from any harsh light or dust. it made the reminder of what he did bear down on minhyuk painfully.

changkyun released his arm and walked back to the trailer.

watching kihyun slowly crouch and then feel the grass with his hands, made minhyuk’s stomach sink. kihyun patted around until he figured out where minhyuk was and found the empty space next to him. he lowered himself into a sitting position and then stretched out his arms.

“ahh, i’m sore,” he rambled.

small talk was making this harder.

“kihyun-”

“are you hurt?” was the first question out of kihyun’s heart and it made minhyuk’s heart leap and twist, why was he asking about him? why the fuck did he care?

“no,” he breathed.

“good.”

minhyuk’s face turned down to the ground, he couldn’t look at him, and he hid his face out of instinct, but he knew that it didn’t make a difference.

“i guess hyunwoo hit you pretty hard,” kihyun murmured.

minhyuk brushed him off and replied with a subject change. “kihyun, i’m-”

“shh,” kihyun’s hand reached out aimlessly, directed towards minhyuk’s own hands. he patted around till he found one, then he held it in his own and gently patted the back.

it was too late to hold them back. the tears built up in minhyuk and his body tipped over, his head coming to rest on kihyun’s shoulder as sobs wracked his body. he felt miserable and guilty and yet kihyun was the one sitting here asking if  _ he _ was okay.

an ugly feeling was settling deep inside of minhyuk’s gut and he wondered how long it would be before any of them could forgive him for what he did.

“sorry, so sorry,” he blubbered through a mixture of snot and tears and kihyun simply stroked his hair with his hand, cradling his head into his shoulder.

before either of them spoke, they were interrupted by the sounds of footsteps on gravel and minhyuk turned to see hyungwon fast approaching from the dirt road behind them. “in,” he pointed at the trailer and marched past.

minhyuk rose to his feet and extended his arm, he clasped kihyun’s arm and tugged him gently to his feet. he led him to the trailer, where they followed hyungwon in. the other boys were all standing there, as soon as they entered, jooheon snatched up kihyun’s arm and pulled him away from minhyuk.

“we can’t stay,” hyungwon explained, motioning towards the door. the rolling landscape that they could see looked so serene and quiet that his next words surprised them. “there’s something coming from the east, looks like government vehicles.”

they all gathered into the trailer in the truck, grateful that they didn’t have many things in hyungwon’s father’s car. hoseok started up the trailer while jooheon started up the truck, by the time they were on the road, changkyun could spot some of the vehicles hyungwon spoke about in the distance.

there were a few big black trucks that looked to be armored, it made him shudder as memories of the government coming to take people years ago resurfaced. he was just a child then, but the memories were so traumatic that he remembered every detail.

his mother’s cries still haunted him, watching her husband being dragged away from her and her sons. the crushing realization that nothing was safe from the capital, they would come and take and take until they were satisfied and by then there might not be anything to take.

their own cars rumbled down the road at high speed, changkyun sat in the back of the truck, holding onto kihyun, who clutched the edge of the truck bed. changkyun couldn’t imagine what it was like, riding in a car when you couldn’t see anything. jooheon’s driving already left them nervous enough.

as they started to approach a curve in the road, changkyun reached up and tapped kihyun’s shoulder, before shouting loud enough for the older to hear him. “there’s a curve coming,” he warned, the thought of being suddenly disoriented by gravity tugging you sideways made him cringe.

kihyun simply nodded.

the truck followed the curve and changkyun kept note of how the vehicles that were quickly gaining speed on them seemed to be following the same path. he felt his stomach tighten and he turned to bump jooheon.

“we should speed up!” he shouted over the wind.

jooheon’s face looked like he was trying not to laugh, but he caught a glimpse of their pursuers in his rearview and he seemed to understand as he increased the speed of the truck. changkyun wanted to alert the trailer, but there was really no way to get their attention now.

“pull up beside them!” he pointed and nudged jooheon, who gave him another look, but did so all the same. he carefully navigated so that the truck was sliding up next to the trailer, the look they received from hyunwoo in the passenger’s side suggested that he didn’t approve of their reckless behavior.

changkyun took the opportunity to motion behind them and hyunwoo looked in the mirror, before realization seemed to dawn on him and he nodded, before turning to address hoseok. soon both the truck and the trailer were flying down the road side by side. no matter how far away they got, their pursuers just got closer and closer.

“i think we might be in trouble,” hyunwoo said to hoseok as he noticed how quickly the vehicles were approaching. his hands went to card through his hair and he let out a steady breath as he could see the dirt behind their tires build a cloud that was swept away by the wind. he sort of wished it would sweep all of them far away.

after barely a moment’s consideration, hosoek took matters into his own hands and veered the vehicle off the road, heading straight across the flat field of dirt in front of them. “whoa!” hyunwoo’s hands instinctively grabbed onto the dash and he looked into the rearview, watching the way the truck turned a little - jooheon was hesitating.

it was too many heartbeats later before the truck turned after them and soon they were all on the right path, the dust behind them was show of the speed they were gaining. hyunwoo was surprised that the trailer could handle this.

when it seemed that they had no intention of changing directions, hoseok really pushed the trailer and sped across the dusty plains, the sky starting to set behind them. they were heading straight for the forest and jooheon followed after them, making hyunwoo question the sanity of everyone involved here.

hoseok seemed to know where he was going as he veered into the woods and down a path that didn’t look wide enough for them, this was proven as tree branches scraped against the windows and frame of the car. the truck had a little better result getting into the tree cover and as they tore through the forest, hyunwoo looked back to realize that whomever was pursuing them was driving a sort of tank. it was far too wide to go in and any attempt to would result in knocking trees over and probably destroying the car engine.

turns out hoseok was smarter than any of them realized, the only downside being that he probably didn’t have a plan now. they were in the woods, that was all well and fine, but what were they going to do now that they were in here?


	3. Chapter 3

the forest path seemed to be leading them around in circles for a bit, but with some of changkyun’s careful navigation they managed to get back on track pretty quickly and soon they were zooming through the brush of trees and the forest around them was simply streaks of green in a dimly illuminated setting.

eventually a screeching clunk brought them to a halt and hoseok cursed under his breath as he climbed out of the trailer, he walked around to the back where jooheon was staring down at it with some disdain.

“looks like something was in your tire and now it’s caught on something else,” he briefed as they both crouched down to survey it.

“is everything okay?” came a soft call and hoseok looked up at kihyun sitting in the truck, the ridiculous blindfold that hyungwon had gotten him actually seemed to help and he smirked a little to himself. as long as the kid was happy.

“yeah we’re good,” he replied, returning to the ground where jooheon was poking at whatever was stuck.

“we’re gonna have to lift it,” he muttered, reaching up a hand to bang on the trailer. “hey! we need some more hands!”

the rest of the passengers climbed off and made a move to help, minhyuk sliding around to the other side. hyunwoo’s hand met his chest, holding him back. “we’ve got it,” his tone was bitter and exacerbated, making a heavy stone like feeling form in minhyuk’s stomach.

“right, okay,” he nodded, stepping out of the way.

minhyuk watched as the four men crouched and grabbed ahold of the trailer, tipping and lifting it enough that jooheon could work on detangling whatever was on the tire. those with a good view watched as jooheon began to tug a very long vine from the tire, unwinding it from the wheel well and pulling it loose eventually.

it had caught on a sturdy as hell tree root that was sticking out of the ground, the muddy green vine looked limp and slimy as jooheon tossed it aside.

“we should be good,” he motioned for them to lower the trailer to it’s original level, which they did.

“i’m tired, let’s take a break,” hoseok sighed. “i gotta stretch my legs.”

hoseok set off into the woods, with jooheon trailing after him, pointing and commenting on different types of plants that they saw. hyunwoo looked around before turning back to the trailer. “i’ll stay here to keep an eye on these. kihyun?”

kihyun seemed to freeze up at being addressed, he’d been entrusted into the care of changkyun, who was holding onto his wrist and gently starting to guide him down one of the paths of the woods.

“hmm?” kihyun replied to hyunwoo.

“do you want to stay with me? i was going to see if i could fix up that old radio that hoseok’s been holding onto for years.”

“oh, um,” kihyun twisted his head, an old habit of looking around for a way out of something or maybe to make sure there wasn’t a reason for him not to accept. “sure.”

minhyuk ignored the sinking weight in his chest.

“i’ll go walk around. changkyun-ah?” hyungwon raised his eyebrows at the younger.

“i’ll stick with minhyuk-hyung,” he gave hyungwon a ‘look’ and the older immediately understood. ever since the accident minhyuk had been out of sorts and both him and changkyun had discussed that he needed some sort of comforting.

hyungwon walked until he was deep in the forest, the deep color of the trees surrounding him made his head a little dizzy and he found himself getting lost staring at them. he sighed and rubbed at his temples. it’d been too long since he slept or eaten properly.

the sun broke through the trees at a particular part and he stopped to examine it, suddenly taken by the beautiful nature. the forest really was beautiful, but it was hard to genuinely appreciate it when you had the government chasing you and - most likely - coming to kill you.

air in a forest is entirely different than it is elsewhere, it’s fresher and smells like earth as opposed to the dusty old smell of the dirt lands they’d just spent hours driving across. he took a deep breath and savored it, the cleanliness of it was refreshing physically and mentally. there was something secure about clean air.

chatter caught his attention and hyungwon followed the sound, wondering what minhyuk and kihyun had gotten themselves into. he walked across an inset of stones and barely tiptoed around a stream, before pushing through a brush of trees.

the voices were certainly getting louder now and he stopped short as he caught the tones of the voices, the way they were said were just delicate enough that he couldn’t bring himself to go any closer, as it felt too invasive.

peering through the trees, he could make out the figures of jooheon and hoseok, walking alongside each other next to another stream, this one far wider and much more difficult to cross. there was a wall of stones on the other side and seemed as if there had once been a waterfall there, before the heat dried it up.

albeit intently, he listened to the words that were exchanged between the two and he shuddered slightly.

“i’m just saying, i think hyunwoo’s a little harsh on him, and so are you,” hoseok was chiding. they must have been discussing minhyuk, as jooheon’s expression soured. however there was a soft teasing in hoseok’s tone that seemed to soothe the bitterness away.

“maybe,” jooheon sighed, running a hand through his hair, his other hand was hanging at his side, occasionally his fingers would brush against hoseok’s, who would simply smirk and walk a little faster.

despite the normal seeming conversation, there was a little daring bounce in hoseok’s step that suggested something far less noticeable and sly was going on here. some sort of game that only he and jooheon knew the terms of.

“what do you suggest i do? forgive him for blinding kihyun?”

hoseok shook his head, a smile at his lips. “i’m not asking you to do that. simply be the bigger person, you can still protect kihyun and be civil to minhyuk. you’re not doing him any favors by hating minhyuk, that’s for sure.”

“what if i don’t want to be civil towards minhyuk?” jooheon grumbled momentarily, before having to jog a bit to keep up with hoseok’s surprisingly quick pace.

“oh, forgive me, i didn’t realize you were too much of a manly man to be able to be nice to someone,” hoseok rolled his eyes. he was dancing along the edge of the stream now and he dared to step a foot on a rock that was popped up out of the stream.

the rock wasn’t as sturdy as he’d hoped for and jooheon saw a window of opportunity open, he extended his arm and caught hoseok around the waist as his foot gave out under him, the rock rolling over and depositing hoseok’s weight straight into the water.

“you like me manly, though,” jooheon was grinning like a fool.

hoseok seemed a bit shocked at first, but after a moment he too was beaming madly. his hands moved up to cup jooheon’s cheeks and he pressed their lips together far too sweetly, nodding a little.

“i suppose you’re not wrong.”

the whole scene made hyungwon feel suddenly sick to his stomach. hoseok...and jooheon? how long had this been happening? were they in love? hyungwon would have never admitted it, but the idea of hoseok falling in love with jooheon made his insides boil.

he would never be able to stomach them behaving like this before, but now that they were in a situation with a touch higher pressure, he just felt crushed. he was too tired to put the strength into being upset, he couldn’t bother feeling sick or angry, only very very disappointed.

pushing his way back and back out of the little tree cove he’d been hiding in, he was hit with the urge to run away. he backed up quickly, turning to run back the way he’d come, however the tree roots and rock bed he’d crossed were thick and he stumbled slightly, falling backwards.

now sitting on his ass and feeling a little too hot inside, hyungwon jumped to his feet, brushing off the seat of his pants - and his pride - and he marched across the rocks and towards the path he’d come over on. he ran in fact, desperate to get away from the very thing that had twisted up his innards.

he blinked away burning tears that threatened to build and spill and he nearly punched himself in the eye in his haste to wipe them away. he was supposed to be the one hoseok fell in love with, ever since he was a teenager, he had expected that to be his future. he was supposed to be the one hoseok chose. hoseok was supposed to be his.

unknowingly his feet carried him straight to where changkyun had been poking at a shallow trickle of a stream with a particularly dense log. he seemed to be quite interested in searching for...whatever he was searching for, but it was such an innocent looking scene that hyungwon felt a tug at his heart.

that was changkyun all around, he was quite innocent most of the time. he was oblivious to his surroundings when it suited him and he was perfectly at peace with the most inane of tasks. such as poking a stick into a stream.

“hey kyun,” hyungwon greeted, ignoring the tight croak in his voice that came from holding back tears just moments before.

“hey hyung,” changkyun responded, poking away.

“what’re you doing?”

“well, i figured we don’t have much in the way of food. so i thought,” here he shrugged simply. “might as well see if i could poke up some frogs.”

he’s an actual child, hyungwon thought. but children were loyal and they were far less inclined to shatter your heart, but most importantly, they were easily to manipulate.

“kyunnie,” hyungwon crept a little bit closer.

“hyung?”

“you’re pretty cute, you know that right?”

changkyun’s nose simply wrinkled in response.

the older decided to risk venturing forwards. “i mean...you’re cute, but you’re also hot. in your own way,” he was entirely unsatisfied by the response he was getting, so he went a little further. “like i’d kiss you if you asked.”

a snort was given in reply. a devastating blow to his ego.

“well, i haven’t asked, have i?” changkyun’s voice was so quiet that hyungwon had assumed he was speaking to himself, but his words struck a nerve.

“no,” he managed to take a step back, several in fact, until he was starting to turn and go. his feet stopped him and he looked over his shoulder. “kyunnie.”

“yes, hyung?” changkyun replied, eyes still fascinatingly focused on the stream he was furiously jabbing at with his log-like stick.

“you really should grow up.”

_______

there was a dull crackle and hyunwoo felt his hopes momentarily go up, but then it fizzled into silence and he sighed. this kind of work required a delicate hand, which hyunwoo didn’t have, but he was at least equipped with the knowledge and skill.

“are you sure it’s even possible to fix?” kihyun’s soft voice broke through his concentration.

“not...especially, but you’re really not helping my confidence,” hyunwoo chuckled. he truly didn’t mind the company, even if he did interrupt his thought process every now and then, he was more than willing to deal. after all, it was kihyun.

silence fell over them once more, the sounds of clicking and tapping as hyunwoo tried to smack the radio into submission was a might awkward, but he seemed sure of himself, so kihyun didn’t question.

a muttered curse was added to the increasing noises of general tinkering. after a moment there was another encouraging crackle, and instead of falling silent it was consistent. it was a solid crackle that seemed to grow quieter, but it was still sturdy enough to work off of.

hyunwoo grew a little excited and he began flipping through channels and twisted his wrist to hold the wire that he had clenched in a pair of pliers still. his eyebrows were furrowed in frustration and he was biting his tongue a little. determination was also on his side in this scenario.

it took a moment, but switching through station after station seemed to do the trick and eventually a voice creaked through the static. hyunwoo almost whooped in joy, but he really just needed to stay focused right now or they’d lose the signal.

“as thousands were struck with this sudden disease, most of seoul has been shut down-” the voice was saying and hyunwoo felt a coldness trickle down his spine. what in the world were they talking about? the signal was spotty and the static overpowered the voice after a bit and they lost track of the words.

“-- mass panic--a nation in dispair--thousands of lives lost--”

“what does all of this mean?” kihhyun asked, he sounded afraid and hyunwoo was hit with the urge to hug him tightly, but he simply swallowed.

“i don’t know, honestly.”

“--the president suggests to stay calm and stay inside--airborne and viral, it’s nearly impossible to detect--”

the station crackled into whie noise and hyunwoo cursed again, attempting to get a better hold of the wire, but the sweat that was building on his palms was making his grip on the pliers a little too loose. “shitshitshitshit-”

“i’m assuming something’s not going well,” kihyun commented, extending his hand. “can i help?”

hyunwoo reached out and clasped the younger’s hand, directing it to the pliers. “just hold these still please.”

kihyun did as he was instructed and hyunwoo could better secure the wires back in place with his newly freed hand. he returned to skipping through stations until he found a voice.

“--two days with no communication from seoul--there’s nothing from anywhere outside of the country--completely alone--nothing, just silence--”

it was here that the radio stopped entirely and kihyun began muttering apologies. “so clumsy, i couldn’t see where- i’m sorry-”

“it’s okay. i think i got enough.”

hyunwoo’s hand closed around kihyun’s and he thanked him for his help. his skin was soft and comforting and kihyun - despite not seeing him - suddenly felt safe and warm, just in hyunwoo’s hands was enough.

“so what does all this mean?” kihyun asked after a few seconds of quiet pondering.

“i think something very bad might have happened and we must have missed it,” hyunwoo whispered.

“like what?”

“i’m not sure. it seems to have been some kind of outbreak.”

kihyun gasped very softly and his hand scrambled for a moment before finding hyunwoo’s arm to clutch. “like zombies?”

there was a moment where he considered laughing, but it seemed in poor taste at the moment. “i couldn’t say for sure. but we definitely need to tell the others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa i’m working so much i haven’t had time to write anything sorry >.<  
>  so instead i’m just posting the chapters that i’ve already finished for this one :)))
> 
> thanks for reading! lemme know what you think   
> you can find me on twitter @nolovevip (writing/rant) or @huiislands (main)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of attempted suicide
> 
> this is a little overdue, but I already have the next chapter ready to go so the next update will be soon! :)  
> enjoy~

a long pause happened between hyunwoo’s last word and when hoseok eventually spoke, too much amusement was in his tone as he asked. “so you’re telling us that the world fell apart because of a zombie apocalypse?”

hyunwoo sighed, his frustration evident. “i don’t know how it happened. all i know is that there was some kind of epidemic that seemed to kill hundreds of thousands people and now we’re in armageddon.”

“actually,” changkyun cleared his throat, the only other person to speak. “armageddon is supposedly a battle between multiple forces, it’s nothing to do with an outbreak.”

a few eyes were on him, before hyunwoo instructed for him to shut up. he did.

an agreement was made that moving on was the best option and within the hour, they were making their way out of the forest. the arrangements had switched and now changkyun drove the truck, with hoseok and jooheon riding in the back. hyunwoo drove the trailer, a very quiet hyungwon in the passenger seat.

when hoseok had volunteered to ride in the back of the truck with jooheon, minhyuk had noticed the visible stiffen in hyungwon’s posture, the way he shifted on his feet. something was up with him, but minhyuk didn’t feel like questioning it, he had enough of his own issues, riding with hyunwoo in the trailer.

instead of bothering talking to people, he directed his attention out the small window above the kitchenette, there was a slight yellow color to it and he wondered when the last time that hoseok had washed it was. 

there was a haze of heat across the dirt plains and he shuddered slightly, it really added to the dead and deserted look that the world was wearing at the moment.

“minhyukkie?” he heard the quiet whisper.

curiously, he looked around, the only other person sitting back here with him, was kihyun. he scooted over a little. “hmm?” he raised his eyebrows, but then remembered that kihyun couldn’t read his expression, so there was no point.

“do you think it’s true?”

“what?”

“about the world,” kihyun turned his head away from the sound of minhyuk’s voice, an attempt at the expression ‘looking into the distance’. it was almost adorable. “do you really think it’s dead?”

minhyuk thought to himself, before rubbing at his eyes and replying in a meek voice. “i don’t even know. but i kind of hope it is.”

kihyun’s eyebrows shot up and he looked back in minhyuk’s direction. “really?”

“yeah,” there was a solemn note in his voice. “don’t you think we deserve it after everything humans have done to this world?”

a slight shake of his head was kihyun’s only response, before he turned away from minhyuk, his expression was emotionless and minhyuk felt like he’d probably screwed up in some way.

the vehicles meandered on, they were free from the underbrush of the forest and they had decent passage. they were not on a road of some sort that seemed to once have led to a city or something.

changkyun flashed the truck’s lights and pulled over ahead, the trailer following suit. hoseok jumped out and walked up to the passenger window, he gave hyungwon an easy smile - but was given a scowl in return. he let it slide.

“we found this old map in the glovebox, it looks like we’re about here,” he held it up and pointed at a spot towards the left side of the map. “jooheon thinks we should head this way.”

realizing he wasn’t exactly getting through to hyungwon, hoseok reached past him to hand the map to hyunwoo, who accepted it with a nod. soon enough they were on the road once more, the wind trying to maneuver them to it’s own pace, but thankfully with technology on their side, hyunwoo had little to no problems steering.

there was a groan from the engine that made his eyebrows raise and he turned to hyungwon, who kept his gaze out the window, avoiding eye contact with the others. he was no help then. hyunwoo turned back, willing to accept help from even minhyuk, when kihyun spoke up.

“sounds like it needs gas.”

kihyun’s father had been a mechanic, but due to the fact that his father was a piece of shit, hyunwoo had decided to forget as much about him as possible. however he was grateful that kihyun had learnt so much about cars.

“well,” he gaped out the window. “isn’t that convenient?”

the rumble of the road underneath was almost hypnotic and minhyuk lost focus as he leaned against the wall behind him and let the sounds from the car rock him into a trance. he was tugged out of it by kihyun patting his leg, he had apparently been trying to get his attention for some time.

“come on,” he encouraged and minhyuk blinked himself back into awareness. looking out the windshield, he noticed that the trailer had come to a stop at an old gas station.

“what are we...?” minhyuk started, but before he knew it, kihyun was grasping for his hand and tugging towards the back of the trailer, where the door was.

they stepped out into the light, the smell of gas hit him first, the next sensation was a waft of hazy heat from the sun. there was a thick sinister tension in the air and as he directed kihyun towards the others, he glanced over his shoulder to see hyunwoo staring at him while he filled the trailer with gas.

it seemed the hard feelings they had for each other were nowhere near going away.

minhyuk made his way towards the truck, hearing jooheon and hoseok starting to gang up on changkyun. apparently delighted, kihyun joined in, picking on their younger friend. despite the relentless teasing, changkyun took it all like a champ, albeit quietly.

a loud laugh rang through the empty gas station as hoseok cackled over something. the only response given to him was a singular cough, a wheezing congested cough that caught all of their attention.

all eyes moved to focus on hyungwon, his body was curled into himself as he leaned against the side of the truck, his skin had lightened to a weak pallor and his eyes were out of focus. a light bead of sweat was starting to collect at his hairline.

“hyungwon?” jooheon asked softly. “you okay?”

another cough was given and they all slowly stepped back. hyunwoo’s words of warning resounding in their heads, the threat of a disease that tore apart the world echoed in their minds. there was a slight fear on everybody’s faces, but no one was willing to voice their worries.

no response came from hyungwon and they all watched him shift over and groan slightly as he moved. a look was exchanged between everyone, kihyun the only one who was not included in their acknowledgement of each other’s thoughts.

what if hyungwon was sick? what if he was contagious? there was a moment where no one wanted to be the first to step away and they all seemed to hesitate, no one willing to move forwards either.

eventually kihyun broke from the rest of the group, arms outstretched as he walked towards the sounds of the coughing. he found the truck and with a little more careful patting, he found hyungwon. his hand moved to the boy’s chest, where he pressed his palm to it.

“shh,” he soothed, his voice soft. “just breathe.”

hyungwon tried to breathe slowly, but he coughed again and fearless as ever, kihyun moved closer. he was so gentle with him, minhyuk wondered what he imagined hyungwon looked like right now, was he envisioning the small innocent 11 year old hyungwon that minhyuk occasionally saw peeping through?

or did he see 17 year old hyungwon, lying in a bathtub full of water after his father had beaten him? the hyungwon that minhyuk saw at night when he closed his eyes? the images of minhyuk finding his friend beneath the water still haunted him.

the tender way that kihyun calmed hyungwon suggested that he saw neither, he had his own image of hyungwon in his head, he had his own memory of each of them that he held onto and used as a mental reference.

his hand moved to gently brush hyungwon’s cheek as the other’s coughs died down a little. “it’s okay,” kihyun’s whisper was heard by the others.

“go tell hyunwoo,” hoseok whispered to minhyuk, shoving him slightly and it was several seconds before it registered enough for minhyuk to start making his way over to hyunwoo.

the thought that hyunwoo hated him made it hard for him to approach him and minhyuk swallowed thickly as he came closer. hyunwoo was finishing filling up the tank of the trailer and was starting to set the pump back in its cradle when minhyuk came up.

“what?” hyunwoo sighed.

“hyungwon’s sick.”

 

* * *

“it’s for his own safety!” hoseok insisted, helping kihyun buckle in, despite his squirming.

“i just think - i can do it myself! - it’s unfair to hyungwon,” kihyun swatted at hoseok, who slapped the back of his hand and shoved them out of the way, so he could finish buckling him in.

hoseok had always been a bit of a motherly figure to the younger boys in their group, but especially when someone was hurt - or blind in this case - his motherly instincts came out in spades and he fussed over kihyun incessantly.

he even went so far as to straighten his hair, earning a huff and another smack. 

“it’s best for him,” hoseok reminded.

they had shut the split doors for the back of the trailer, the front half now containing the rest of the passengers, before the doors was where hyungwon sat on a pile of pillows, no doubt coughing and sweating profusely.

kihyun’s heart hurt just thinking about it. he wanted to reach out to hyungwon, he wanted to cling to his arms and pull him close and stare at his perfectly structured face and tell him he’s going to be okay.

his head was starting to spin and he recalled a moment from just months before...

 

_ minyuk’s feet skidded on the gravel as he came running in, he looked pale and shocked. he stared at kihyun for a second and kihyun stared back, confused and scared, god knows what made minhyuk like this. _

_ “it’s hyungwon,” he gasped. “i found him in his bathtub.” _

_ together, the two boys ran across the village, heading for hyunwoo’s house. they burst through the door and found themselves face to face with their older friend, who was preparing to leave anyways. they relayed their information and the three set off for hyungwon’s house. _

_ entering the living room, kihyun’s eyes found hyungwon, his purpled face was pale and he looked clammy. his soaking wet body was being cradled by hoseok, who was swallowing back tears and rocking him back and forth. _

_ “come on, hyungwon,” he begged. _

_ hyunwoo collapsed on the ground next to them. he reached out his hands to feel their friend’s face. “he’s so cold,” he gasped. _

_ in behind them came jooheon and changkyun, the younger of whom cried out at the sight of hyungwon and turned to bury his face in jooheon’s shoulder. his hands clutched at the older’s t-shirt. _

_ “is he alive?” jooheon asked carefully. _

_ kihyun swallowed, watching hoseok rub at hyungwon’s arms and huynwoo gently stroke his cheek, both of them whispering words of encouragement to him. they all watched with bated breath, no words being exchanged between those observing. _

_ a gasp broke the silence as hyungwon started to cough the water out of his lungs. relief washed over them in a wave as hyunwoo and hoseok helped the younger turn over and they patted his back as he coughed and wheezed. _

_ “shit, never scare us like this again,” hyunwoo sighed. _

 

they had sworn to never let him do something like that again, that much kihyun remembered. he remembered each other them kneeling by hyungwon’s crumbled frame and pressing a kiss to each of his bruises, the purpled marks didn’t look any better, but he lied and said they felt better.

_ “we’ll never let this happen again, we’ll protect you.” _

those were the words that they had promised him, and yet...kihyun seemed to be the only person who recalled this promise. the others had been so overcome with fear that they’d quickly agreed to let him be cast to the back of the trailer, isolated from the others.

for his own good, hoseok had said, but kihyun could have laughed at him. they all knew what was good for hyungwon, but hoseok of all people would never accept this fact. he had seen the looks before, the way hyungwon would gaze wordlessly at hoseok until the older grew uncomfortable. hoseok knew. they all knew.

and yet...hyungwon was still rejected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! please leave a comment and let me know what you think! <3
> 
> A/N: DID Y'ALL SEE THAT MOVIE FILM THAT THEY RELEASED THIS MORNING? I LOST MY MIND

**Author's Note:**

> please leave your thoughts! thanks for reading :)


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